LA-LA In Review

When the Beagle managing editor called me into his office, I thought, “fuck, the jig is up.”  Wrong!  I was told to head to Los Angeles immediately for a power weekend of star tracking, scene stealing, and style grabbing.  My first field assignment!

Due to the last minute nature of the trip, I was forced onto a 8am flight.  A bit early, but more importantly, no drink service!  Fortunately, LA has drive-thru liquor stores.  Upon arrival, my first priority was to meet up with my urban cool guy contact, Scrims.  As I the valet took the keys to my rental Nissan Sentra, I looked to my left to see a Bentley and a Ferrari parked next to me.  Scrims soon emerged from the building in a fine business suit.  With his help, I was soon chasing the pulse.  Welcome to LA, baby!

I saw a guy in the fashion district with feet so big he was pan-handling.  It was weird and sad.  I thought they were fake novelty toes at first, even though I’ve never seen such a thing.  I also saw horse racing, baseball, Randy’s, and Roscoe’s.  Lost money on every race, Ken Griffey Jr. homered in the M’s win, beers were $13 at Dodger stadium, and there was A LOT of bling at Roscoe’s Chicken & Waffles.  Ladies, don’t even think about rocking into Roscoe’s without a 4 inch heel, minimum!  Gents just need a diamond-encrusted watch.  I tried to find a RIP Michael Jackson t-shirt, but just didn’t see the right one.  I did buy a Randy’s t-shirt though.  High fashion, indeed.  Stopped into Opening Ceremony to make sure their clothes aren’t worth half the price they ask.  I was correct.  Some nice shoes though.

It’s good to know there are still cities in this country where one can buy bootleg DVDs and counterfeit fashions.  Anybody want an Ed Hardy t-shirt??  Only $5!   Honestly, I’ve never seen so much Ed Hardy in one weekend.  A sample sale was going down at the old LA Forum, dudes were rocking it at the Dodgers game, and knock-offs were everywhere in the fashion district.  Fucking stupid clothing.  The new Von Dutch.  But if you can brush away the shit, a man can emerge from the fashion district’s Santee Alley with some fresh kicks, what looks like a nice watch, and a fine tailored suit for nearly a third-world price.  Only in America!

Hollywood Park was awesome.  Playin’ the scene, losing dollars……and maybe seeing into my future?  I also saw Charles Bukowski’s ghost.

Back in Portland I quickly stopped in for some fine food at La Bonita.  Mmmm.  The air smelled cleaner too.

Brando, I saw a guy riding your moped in LA!

-Richie

Rugs, rugs, rugs, Opening Ceremony, and more rugs.

Rugs, rugs, rugs, Opening Ceremony, and more rugs.

6 races and no winners.

6 races and no winners.

Coffee and apple fritter.  Thanks, Randy!

Coffee and apple fritter. Thanks, Randy!

Griffey's back!

Griffey's back!

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~ by richie on June 30, 2009.

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